Five best cheeses for a charcuterie board
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I need to confess something before we get started, and if it makes you question my qualifications to write this article, I’ll understand. It’s this: I have been traumatized by cheese that has been left out too long at multiple points in my life. As such, I have the controversial position that soft cheeses do not belong on a charcuterie board.
Hear me out. Truly, not all cheeses should be sitting out waiting to be eaten. In my cater-waiter days, we would put out giant platters of cheddar and jack cheeses and after 30 minutes, each cube had little beads of sweat on them.
I don’t care how much you love cheese: No one wants it to be sweaty. And if you say you do, then you’re lying to yourself and I think maybe you’re beyond help and I hope for your friends’ sake that you’re never in charge of the charcuterie at your events because they deserve better. They deserve these five cheeses.
Parmigiano-Reggiano
Think about it: Basically everyone likes every food that prominently features Parmesan cheese. Caesar salad? Masterpiece. Bruschetta? Delightful. The pasta Ilya inhales at the dinner table in Heated Rivalry? Literally life-changing. Let Parmesan be the star for once instead of relegating it to topping status. Do you have to get the authentic, expensive stuff from Italy? No, but make sure it’s been aged for at least 12 months. If you can find a 24-36 month aged, even better.
Still think it’s weird to put Parmesan on a charcuterie board? Use these talking points to justify your choices: Are you finding that lactose isn’t as friendly to you as it once was? Are you celebrating women in sports after the 2026 Winter Olympics? Do you have an annoying friend who is always talking about macros? Parmesan will satisfy all these needs:
· Authentic Parmigiano-Reggiano is naturally lactose free! The longer it’s aged, the lower the lactose content.
· Italian Olympic Silver medalist Giorgia Villa is literally sponsored by the makers of authentic Parmigiano-Reggiano. Check out her insta: She’s always posing with wheels of cheese.
· Parmesan cheese has more protein than any other: 35.8g per 100g! (IDK either. Your CrossFit friend will know what it means.)
Super Aged Cheddar
Please. No more cracker cuts. We have opposable thumbs and can use a simple tool like a knife or a cheese shaver. You’re going to need them for the parmesan anyway, so let’s take the opportunity to get fancy with the cheddar (and by that, I do NOT mean getting bacon-infused or coffee-infused or whiskey-infused or whatever else they’re doing these days).
This is going to take some research on your part, but I promise it’s worth it. You miiiiight find a two-year cheddar at your local grocery store (in the fancy cheese section; not the regular dairy section), but you’re better off going to a specialty store for this one, because the older the cheese, the sharper and more flavorful it is. Do you happen to be driving through Wisconsin anytime soon? There’s a gas station off I-94 that sells up to a 50-year cheddar and yeah, I personally paid $50 for a 40-year block—but MY GOD—it was money well spent.
Manchego
You’ve already proven you’re health conscious with the Parmesan and down to earth (but still fancy) with the cheddar; now it’s time to show you’re wise and worldly with a Spanish cheese that’s exclusively produced in the La Mancha region of Spain, with milk from certified Manchega sheep.
Yes, that was all one complex sentence, but Manchego is a complex cheese that goes through both flavor and texture changes as it ages. This is your replacement for the slices of Monterey Jack you’ll find in the plastic covered trays in the deli section (or Pepper Jack, if you bought the one with the chili pepper on the label). Manchego already has a slightly spicy flavor, so it doesn’t need to be infused with peppers and herbs. (Why do we insist on infusing so many things anyway?)
Using the different Spanish descriptors will help to up your obvious expertise. Want a slightly softer and milder cheese? Go with the Manchego semicurado (aged 1-3 months). Manchego curado (6-9 months) is the most common and has a nutty taste. Manchego Viejo or Añejo is cured between 9 months and two years. Both of those words essentially mean “old” or “aged” in Spanish, but you’ve probably seen Añejo on a tequila bottle, because it’s mostly used to describe something as “fancy aged” which is a new term I just made up.
While you CAN eat the rind, you shouldn’t. (It won’t taste good.) But leave it on there for the board, because it LOOKS cool.
Gouda
Gouda can be traced back to the Netherlands in the 13th century. It’s named after the city where it was sold, pronounced “HOW-duh” in Dutch. Need a way to remember that it’s not “GOO-duh”? The first syllable rhymes with WOW—as in “wow, that’s old.”
Look, no one can figure out anything bad to say about gouda. I don’t know if anyone would be super effusive about it either, but sometimes we just need a safety cheese in the mix.
White Stilton with Apricots
Yes, I JUST complained about the trend of putting weird stuff into regular cheese like four paragraphs ago. But this is all about appearances, and dried apricots are often a good addition to a charcuterie board anyway, so this is more efficient overall.
The good thing about blue cheese is that it LOOKS cool on your board. The bad thing about blue cheese is EVERYTHING ELSE. (Note to self: Set comments to “hide” if the blue cheese people come for me about this topic.) There’s always going to be someone who’s like “The funkier the better!” or “I like cheese that smells bad!” but that person is not about making friends at a party. You are not catering to this person. They’re here to interact with the people who are all “blue cheese has mold in it” and the one eating it will be able to prove they’re cooler than the average party-goer because they don’t mind the mold and the smell and the effort.
If you wisely choose the apricot Stilton over the traditional veined style of blue cheese, you’ll still have a conversation starter without the visible mold and without the smell and without the attention seeking. And then you can say lines like “All Stilton is blue cheese, but not all blue cheese is Stilton” and then casually walk away.
The walking away part is key, because it leaves them wanting more. And honestly, that’s how I want you to approach this whole charcuterie board situation. Let them all talk about how smart and unique your board is with these five cheeses. You’ll be standing on the other side of the room with a knowing smile, not unlike Mona Lisa. Make sure someone gets a (candid) photo of you.